JUST WHEN I HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT

I love my life. It may not be what other people view as perfect, but it suits me. I thought I had finally figured everything out. What I wanted out of it rather than what others thought I should want, be, do, etc. So, imagine my surprise as I'm moving along, working out, losing weight, looking into ways of advancing my career, writing, and just generally enjoying family and friends, at getting THE CALL. My physician's office leaving a message on my cell phone. I can't remember everything that was said, but I do remember: "We have the test results." "It's very important that you keep your Monday appointment." (This stated on three separate occasions during the two minute voicemail.) and, finally, "WE ARE CLOSED UNTIL MONDAY."

It was Saturday and, while I'm not the brightest bulb on the porch, even I could figure out from the "tone" of the message that the news wasn't good. The test results I was waiting for were from my mammogram / biopsy. So, I did what I considered the only rational thing to do at the time ... I gathered some friends and went out for Mexican food and a 48 ounce margarita... and we talked. We discussed everything from what we were going to do after I was "cured" to what I wanted done with my remains. It was hard, but it was also good. A couple of the most important people in my life helped to process my feelings. They made it possible for me to get through the next day and helped me prepare for my appointment.

As I know now, the results weren't good. It's official. I have breast cancer. Man does that suck. It's a whole new game for me. However, I think it was harder for my family and friends to hear about it than it was for me. Luckily, I have surrounded myself with a much more incredible group of people than I ever realized. As we move forward with saving my life, I realize that we can never really have everything figured out because life is constantly changing. All we can do is work for the best and not let the rest shake us too much. Appreciate what we have for as long as we can.