THE FAT OF THE LAND

I'm a 48 year old woman who has been obese my entire adult life -- for much of that time, I was classified (I hate that word) as morbidly obese. I’m not a weight loss expert (nor do I play one on TV), however, I have tried every “diet” and medication that came to my attention. I shudder when I think of some of the “solutions” I tried and am grateful that none of them caused permanent damage to my body.

I lost a little weight, gained back a whole lot more. Finally, with a change in mindset, some health issues, modification in habits, and a lot of non-judgmental encouragement (I will never be able to repay my brother, who paid for my unemployed butt‘s YMCA membership and presented me with my pass without explanation or lecture. Nor can I forget my sister-in-law‘s silent encouragement as she joined every class I wanted to try and walked with me step for step on the dreaded treadmill -- even though she hated it.), I have managed to lose 110 pounds. With another 70 pounds to lose, I'm not thin by any measure. As a matter of fact, I will never be described as thin based on today's standards, but I'm definitely on my way to being healthy… and much happier.

That said, I don’t delude myself. I recognize that, statistically, I have more of a chance of gaining the weight back than I do of reaching my goal and maintaining it. It may happen, but I don’t think so. I believe that I have finally found something that works for me and my lifestyle. It may never work for anyone else, but that’s okay. I’ve discovered that we all need to stop listening to every expert and new fad that’s out there and find what works for ourselves. 

That epiphany was what started me thinking about writing a blog. What finally pushed me over the edge was a poem that a friend posted on Facebook.

THE FAT OF THE LAND by Ronald Wallace

Gathered in the heavy heat of Indiana,

we've come from all over this great

country, one big happy family, back from

wherever we've spread ourselves too thin.

A cornucopia of cousins and uncles, grand-

parents and aunts, nieces and nephews, expanding.

All day we laze on the oily beach;

we eat all the smoke-filled evening:

shrimp dip and crackers,

Velveeta cheese and beer,

handfuls of junk food, vanishing.

We sit at card tables, examining

our pudgy hands, piling in

hot fudge and double-chocolate

brownies, strawberry shortcake and cream,

as the lard-ball children

sluice from room to room.

O the loveliness of so much loved flesh,

the litany of split seams and puffed sleeves,

sack dresses and Sansabelt slacks,

dimpled knees and knuckles, the jiggle

of triple chins. O the gladness

that only a family understands,

our fat smiles dancing

as we play our cards right.

Our jovial conversation blooms and booms

in love's large company, as our sweet

words ripen and split their skins:

mulberry, fabulous, flotation,

phlegmatic, plumbaginous.

Let our large hearts attack us,

our blood run us off the scale.

We're huge and whole on this simmering night,

battened against the small skinny

futures that must befall all of us,

the gray thin days and the noncaloric dark.

Much of this is so true and hits so close to home that I can’t find the humor in it. It just makes me sad. I see so many friends and family who struggle with their weight and IT IS A STRUGGLE! Most are so embarrassed by their weight and society’s perception / response to it, that they sit out on life and hide behind closed doors to eat. Been there, done that …

Overall, I believe that obesity is one of the few things that is still okay to make fun of without worrying about being politically correct. I don’t know if that is ever going to change, so I decided to change myself. Finally, I stand up for me. No one else’s behavior is going to dictate how I live my life or my belief in myself.

That is why I am writing this blog. It’s not to tell anyone how to lose weight, although I will discuss my struggles to find what works for me (and it is constantly changing). It’s (hopefully) to come together in a community to encourage each other to find WHAT WORKS for their life. To no longer strive to be what external sources need us to be.

Here’s hoping that this is not so much a journey to weight loss as it is one to finding a happiness within ourselves.